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Time Bandits

Sterling (Jeremy Frandsen) 20 Comments

iStock_000001793211XSmall Okay, time for a little rant.

First off, I’m an On Time Freak. If I’m 2 minutes late to something I am very hard on myself. I try to be 5 minutes early if not more to anything I’ve committed to ahead of time, but being late is not an option. It’s very hard to be an On Time Freak, because most people are fine being late. It blows me away that this is the case being as I’m a freak about time, but it seems to be the norm to simply be 10 minutes or more late to everything.

Why do I bring this up, you might ask?  Well, in the last week I’ve had nearly every person that had a set time to meet up with me be late! I had a meeting where EVERY other person was late ‘cept me, one guy was even 40 minutes late. That same day I was meeting with a friend and she called me 1 minute before we were supposed to meet and said she would be 30 minutes late! I was supposed to meet 2 business guys for lunch and at 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet, I left. That was just 3 things that have happened, there are more and it’s only Thursday!!

Guess what excuse they all had?

“Oh, sorry I was late, X happened.” The best part about it is that they don’t realize that saying ‘X happened’ means that X was more important then integrity! Yeah, it’s no joke.  Now, most of the time it’s an excuse like there was traffic, a call went late, time got away from me, the dog ate my homework, etc.  That is worse to a On Time Freak, because we made it on time!!!  We were able to understand that things might take longer then expected and so we planned ahead and still got there!

“It is my conviction that a person who cannot keep appointments on time, cannot keep scheduled commitments, or cannot stick to a schedule cannot be trusted in other ways either. Fundamental dishonesty expresses itself in many different ways, but this is definitely one of them!”

-Dan Kennedy, Time Management for Entrepreneurs.

Lack of time honesty is one of the key reasons I ended a profitable partnership just recently. I just couldn’t stand the complete lack of respect for my time. He was late to EVERYTHING. There just seems to be no integrity in that. If someone is willing to lie about one thing, how many other things are they lying about?

I just wanted to give late people the chance to understand how us On Time Freaks think about being late and give us an excuse as to why:

Excuses mean NOTHING! Excuses are heard as, “blah blah blah, I don’t respect you, blah blah blah.” Excuses don’t mean anything to someone who was there on time. If I’m there on time it meant I didn’t do 150,000 other things I could have been doing, including spending time with family, getting some much needed personal time, watching Gilmore Girls, playing with a rock, scratching my fingernails down a chalk board, ANYTHING is better then waiting for a late person and hearing their excuse! I see it as someone stealing my precious time and disrespecting me all wrapped up in a dry, moldy tortilla. Get the picture?

So, let me ask you, would you really trust someone who is always late?

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20 Comments Leave a Comment



Halbert

Hi there guys. I’ll admit, I’m a recovering Non Time Freak. However I’ve realized (quickly) that starting an internet business all but requires being on time with everying, especially the execution of scheduled tasks. Not doing so has only cost me and hence, caused me to go into “time management rehab” recently.

If it helps anyone, I’ve taken your structured scheduling tips mentioned a couple of episodes back and seen positive results almost immediately. It has created a sense of urgency that was sorely needed, and a sense of actual progression at the end of each day.

Keep it up guys, thanks, and I wish you all the best!!

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Victor

Here is the cure: live in a Latin American country for a few years. You’ll learn to relax a bit and not take things (and yourself) so seriously. Ahhh. Feel better?

It’s all about Mañana.

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After a very long time in the military I’ve grown accustomed to punctuality and have little patiance when people are late for commitments they’ve made. My first Commanding Officer had a saying, “If you can’t be on time-be early.” That has stuck with me to this day.

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Dan

I am with you. I can’t stand late people either. I think that being late shows total lack of respect for everyone involved in the meeting. I am dealing with an issue at work (still at my day job) :( where I am in an executive training class. A small number of people were hand selected to this class and one individual shows up at least 30 minutes late to every session and has even avoided coming to class and was found sitting at his desk. I am wondering why and how he even got selected. I am prior military so the whole being late topic had serious consequences and has been engrained in my head to arrive 10 – 15 minutes early.

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@Victor,

I feel better for 5 minutes until it happens again. I’ve always wondered how to have ambition and then just be relaxed when people disrespect me and my time? I’m not sure how tomorrow would make me feel better, especially if someone disrespects me today, then I wait till tomorrow and they do it again! I’m an ambition, capitalist American… now what?!~ hehe…

@Brian,

I too was in the military, that certainly fulfilled my need for punctuality and in that one specific area I loved being in the military!

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Rick Haver

I can tell that this topic means a lot to you. You have some very valid points, but…

I can’t help thinking that this view goes to an extreme with you. Time is important, but so are people. Saying that someone is fundamentally dishonest if they are late is just too much.

Agreed, there is no excuse for chronic lateness, but people are human. Hearing your rant makes me wonder if this hardline approach fails to recognize that. It makes me sad to think that you might apply this to your view of people in your life and let it affect valued relationships.

I’m not saying you have to be permissive, but there are much healthier ways to approach this without being such a hardass.

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@Rick,

Where is the line though? When EVERYONE I was to meet up with was late or didn’t even show up in the last week, what then? Do I rack it up to they are just human? I guess I should have specified a couple things though. With exception of one person, no one called or let me know they would be late. I had no way of knowing. One person called when I had already arrived at our meeting place and said they would be 30 minutes late, at least I then knew, but come on!

I wonder at what point it’s an excuse that everyone is just human. Integrity is human, too… I hope… At what point is someone just being human or at what point are they dishonest? I got through any challenges and overcame a ‘human’ events to get there on time, why should I constantly give everyone else a pass. (rant continued and now paused, GRIN)

Okay, so maybe it isn’t about them being fundamentally dishonest, but it was clear they didn’t value my time in the least. That may not be totally dishonest, but that sure speaks volumes about how I should trust them when it comes to my time and attention, does it not?

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Rick Haver

Sterling,

You and Jay are great at offering solid advice on how to change my mindset or improve my business. However, other than inciting an “amen” from the choir or making the guilty feel chastised, this post seems to be missing your usual M.O.

What would have been cool is a constructive suggestion about how to handle the problem.

I am a fan of the show and enjoy your advice. This one just caught me off guard so I had to speak up.

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@Rick,

I think one of the things people fine refreshing in Jay and I is that we are very passionate about what we do and we stay in integrity with who we really are. If we suggest something, it’s cause we use it. If we suggest doing something it’s cause we do it. And, if we believe in something, it’s cause we passionately believe!

Now, I do stay relatively general in my personality on the show and in the blog, but from time to time I need to shake things up a bit. However, you are correct. I didn’t add our usual brand of tips or steps to take to overcome an issue, so I will do it now;

7 steps to take to stay in integrity with your word when it comes to keeping your commitments.

1. Understand that strong people see tardiness as disrespectful, so take the following steps:
2. Plan ahead.
3. Make sure you have everything you need to fulfill your commitment ahead of time, don’t wait till the last minute.
4. Leave 15 minutes earlier then you think you will need too. That way if anything comes up, you have extra time to handle it.
5. If an emergency happens, call the party you intend to meet with ASAP.
6. Know that non-emergency excuses are never really believed, but most people are too polite to make an issue out of them. Take responsibility for not planning correctly, apologize and commit to doing everything you can to not letting it happen again.
7. Don’t make commitments you don’t really intend to keep, this is the kiss of death when it comes to actually getting yourself to keep them on time.

I really hope this helps for anyone that has an issue with punctuality.

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Sterling,

I’m with you.

I make a point to leave extremely early for commitments to save myself undo stress. There are always unexpected delays – traffic, or realizing you need gas, or whatever.

I once had an appointment to do work for a dentist. He kept me waiting for 20 minutes. His assistant came out and said, “He’ll be with you in 10 minutes.” and I replied, “Tell him I’ll be gone in two.” and he came right out.

You teach people how you want to be treated.

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@Mark,

Ya know, that was the part that annoyed me the most. I had gotten to relaxed about my rules as to how I’m to be treated. That is my responsibility for sure.

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Pat

I’m a dentist and as you can imagine, timing is all important in my job. I work pretty hard to make sure nobody is kept waiting and if they are, they are informed as soon as this is apparent and profuse apology offered. With this policy, very rarely do I have troubles and the key is that these people understand that their time is being valued.

On the other hand, I also deal with people who don’t value my time by being late, forgetting their appointment etc. This is probably the most frustrating part of the job.

Something that we have noticed is that the younger patients – Gen Y, tend to be much more comfortable with attempting to cancel at late notice. We have a policy specifically for this demographic. If you cancel at short notice, your next appointment will be no less than six weeks wait. Usually, they miraculously clear their schedule and can attend at the agreed time.

Has anybody else noticed trends such as this?

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Perhaps this represents a difference in power that the others believe exists but that you do not. People make those with less power wait on their schedule, which is part of the reason why your boss and doctor will be relaxed about your time. Clients will do this in even very expensive consulting engagements to show that their work is so important it is worth wasting your fee.

And canceling/stalling is a known negotiating strategy of certain large corporations. It’s even taught in negotiation classes. Wait until you fly across the globe and have the potential client cancel that morning.

Leaving a note saying “You obviously have too many other, more pressing commitments to focus on our time today, so let’s reschedule when you are more available” can be a powerful negotiating strategy in business, even with potential customers, because it says “I want to talk with you but I don’t _need_ to talk with you”. This seems more productive than this current approach.

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Ian

Sterling,
I completely agree with you. The comments telling you that you are being too rigid are missing the point (and smell a little of the guilty trying to justify tardiness). It is not about punctuality, it is about respect. I have been late for things just like everybody else. Anyone who has children, has been late for something. With the exception of true emergencies though, there is never an excuse for not calling the person that you are supposed to meet, with enough notice to give THEM the option of waiting or rescheduling.

Respect is a powerful thing. To be late, and not give notice, is disrespectful. Period. To show disrespect can cost you business, friends, and in some places, your life. As far as using delays as a negotiation tactic, one of the greatest freedoms the entrepreneurial lifestyle gives you, is the freedom to do business with whomever you choose. I have also walked away from business with people who did not show me respect. It inevitably leads to distrust. I may be poorer for it, but I am definitely happier.

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I work almost exclusively with attorneys now, and believe me, when you have a room full of people charging around $250.00 per hour per person, time is respected! When you put a serious dollar value on your time, and demand that people pay it, the people who cannot or will not respect the value of time are eliminated. This has taught me to remove from my business relationships anyone who wastes my time. I make a lot more money that way.

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I found your site today via the Google Video Getting Things Done (GTD) with Mindmaps. Just leaving a quick note that I love the brilliant way how you can write important things with very funny words direct on the point! Greetings from Vienna, Austria -Robert

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Hi,
Like you, I’m a stickler for time. I also feel that it’s a matter of integrity and consideration.
I’ve definitely had to distance myself from people who don’t feel that way. It’s not worth my effort if I’m not worth it to them.
And I’m not talking about the “my child threw up on me and I had to change clothes.” I’m talking about the “oh, i stopped to get a starbucks and got chatting with people, sorry I’m 45 minutes late”
Lara

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I agree completely, in fact I just had this discussion with my youngest daughter, who is 16, and told her that, to me, being late is one of the most inconsiderate things that a person can do.

I do understand that sometimes things happen that you have little control over. But that is a very rare occurrence.

Jim

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I usually try to be a few minutes early and as I always have a book to read or a podcast to listen to I don’t mind waiting for people.

If it’s a billable meeting I’m getting paid to read :)

/johan/

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@Mark
Great idea I’ll have to put it into practice when I need to.

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