How to Ignite Your Goals and Your Motivation

by Jason Van Orden

How would you like to give your goals some real oomph this year? How would you like to light a flame under your motivation?

This is a great time of year. It tends to get us thinking. It instills extra desire to make good things happen. That’s an incredible thing and worth harnessing.

So how can we make the most of it? I’ve seen and heard a lot this week about what people want to make happen this year. Sadly, it often seems there’s one critical element missing.

We’ll talk about what’s missing in a moment. First there’s something I want to encourage you to get rid of.

Get Rid of Should

How often do we describe our goals using the word should?

It’s an insidious, guilt-ridden word. It’s often laden with the fear or regret. That might sound a bit dramatic, but if you stop to think about it you’ll see what I mean.

So often should represents arbitrary standards, coercive expectations and extrinsic motivations.

“I should exercise more.”

“I should eat better.”

“I should spend less money.”

There’s an unspoken “or else” at the end of these kinds of phrases.

Try increasing your awareness of how and when you use the word should. Are you setting goals out of fear of regret, to impress others or just because someone else is doing it? Are you basing your goals on unfair expectations or external influence?

If so, you’ve set yourself up for failure before you’ve even started.

I find that should brings a constant low-grade discontent that I would rather live without. Let’s do away with should and replace it with something more constructive.

The Reason Why — An Action Activator

So when you set a goal, avoid the word should. Instead, try completing the following sentence. I call it the Action Activator.

In order to have more ____________, I want to ____________.

This phrase helps you to dig into your psyche and pull to the surface your intrinsic motivation. It defines your reason why.

Here are some examples from my own life.

In order to have more happiness I want to spend more time connecting with my closest friends.
In order to have more peace of mind I want to invest more money into steady wealth-building.
In order to experience more energy throughout the day I want to exercise every day, first thing in the morning.
In order to live more passionately I want to create more than I consume.
In order to feel healthier and more vibrant, I want to consume more water instead of soda.

Try one for yourself. How does it feel to use the Action Activator? When I think of my goals in this context, I feel energized. I feel the intrinsic motivation behind the action. It gives me sustainable energy to see things through.

One of the biggest reasons we fail to reach a goal is that the motivations are largely extrinsic which science has proven is a poor motivator. Sadly this is how we’ve been programmed to think by society, our parents and the school systems. So cut yourself some slack. It takes time to reprogram. I still have a ways to go.

Kicking in the Afterburners

If you want to take it to another level, take the Action Activator and mix it with one of the following techniques.

Reading passionate stories by others that have already achieved what you want to do
Look through sites or magazines to find photos that represent your desire
Write a paragraph or two about what it will feel like as you do the action and move towards the goal
Discuss and brainstorm the action with a like-minded and trusted person

Imagery. Visualization. Verbalization. Feeling. These take the fuel of motivation and really ignite it.

So what do you want to accomplish this year? What is your reason why? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Let’s live passionately!

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25 Comments For This Post

Andrew Says:

This is a MUCH better way to look at goals / resolutions / whatever you might want to call them. I’m going to start trying to do this daily – it actually turns around your goals and makes you think about WHY you want something before you decide WHAT to do to get it.

This reminds me a lot of Rich Dad, Poor Dad’s “I can’t afford it” vs. “How can I afford it?” mentality.

Nice post!

Sterling (Jeremy Frandsen) Reply:

I agree! Let us know how it works for you.

Ruben Reply:

Great post gets me very motivated… Dont ya offer a course I join??? I want join but I cant find a link to it on this blog website…

Sterling (Jeremy Frandsen) Reply:

internetbusinessmasteryacademy.com, welcome!

Jay (Jason Van Orden) Reply:

So cool how sometimes such a small tweak in language can make such a huge difference.

I use “how can I afford it” all the time.

Caroline Says:

Great advice! Although I would change the Action Activator to “In order to have more ____________, I am going to ____________.”

Sterling (Jeremy Frandsen) Reply:

Nice, it is definitely more action oriented!

Jay (Jason Van Orden) Reply:

Hi Caroline,

Thanks for the suggestion. If that is what works for you, then go for it!

Since I’m trying to target desire in my mind, I use the word “want.”

Sanjiv Says:

Great post Jay … I was feeling blocked setting my goals and the Action Activator did the trick!

Its a motivator and it also brings in self accountability plus made me think of specific actions to make it happen (that lead to refining goals to be more realistic).

I had unrealistic goals last year… so this has helped me learn and improve. Thanks again.

Happy New Year to both of you!

Jay (Jason Van Orden) Reply:

Happy New Year! Thrilled to hear it helped remove the block.

Sam Says:

I’m with Caroline. A desire Jay is little more than a positive wish; you don’t score a goal by desiring to do it … you practice doing it, until you succeed. I’ve had a desire for 30 years to stop smoking – this year I did it. I don’t desire to start again – I will not! Best wishes for 2012 – keep up the good work.

Jay (Jason Van Orden) Reply:

I 100% agree that action is key. We talk about that all the time on the show. But action without an intrinsic motivation is almost certainly doomed to fizzle.

The point is not to stop with the desire. This is simply the first step. The action planning or affirmations can certainly come after.

I just wanted to make it clear the purpose of my post and not short circuit the very essence of my system.

Thanks for your comment.

Mark Conger Says:

Thanks for this tip. Seems like several confirmations have come my way lately about being more positively motivated – especially through external sources such as inspiring content.

Jay (Jason Van Orden) Reply:

This time of year I love finding and reading lots of inspiring content. Glad I could help provide a bit of that for you!

Randy Says:

For me, the process goes like this:
Replace “I should” with I am.
Then make it I have been.
It is so easy to wish for things, but at some point you just have to start doing something.

Sterling (Jeremy Frandsen) Reply:

Action is most certainly the key!

Jonathan McShane Says:

I banned the word “Should” from my vocabulary at the end of last year – although at times it has a tendency to creep in…it is a terrible word. Also the word “But” is no-no.

Thanks for yet another awesome post guys!

Jay (Jason Van Orden) Reply:

Yes, the word still does creep in on me from time to time, too. Awareness is the first step!

Khayrattee Wasseem Says:

Je dirais meme plus: “Awareness is the first step!” :)
Nice read.

//Wasseem

Amy Duncan Says:

I would add perseverance and patience to the list. Sometimes, things don’t happen as you planned, and if you are not patient with yourself, you might give up your goals.

Anshul Says:

Thanks for sharing your tips Jay.

Taking action is often not an issue for me but staying focused and taking things to the finish line is something that still leaves some room for improvement so wouldn’t mind squeezing that in somewhere in your post:)

Cliff Stevenson Says:

Love it. “Get Rid of Should”. I probably say that every time I talk about a goal. Never really thought anything about it until now. I should stop that :)

Diana Says:

I think the most important is to set your goal and focus on them.

Alin Says:

Motivation is the key. If you don’t have a strong motivation and will, you can’t achieve your goals.

Jeremy Frandsen Reply:

Agreed, and the way to really ignite your motivation is to have a Single Motivating Principle. Check out episode 185 and 186 for more details.

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